What 4 simple strategies can help you manage job-search rejection?
Does how you manage job-search rejection even matter?
The dictionary defines rejection as the state of being dismissed, refused, not accepted, or not approved.
Clearly, it’s no picnic to be rejected — but does how you respond to job-search rejection even matter?
Yes! Just consider these statistics:
In a study of 155 Dutch professional musicians, 91% felt anxious before they auditioned, and 55% reported that their fear of being rejected negatively impacted their performance.
In a study of 291 Pakistani textile managers and workers, those who felt the most sensitive to rejection performed 36.7% worse in their careers, than those who weren’t.
In a study of 242 US job-seekers, those who dwelled the most on being rejected, as a result submitted less resumes, spent less time seeking and applying for positions, and had a job search that was 39% less effective.
Our guest expert — audition, mindset, and confidence coach Shannon Bills — explained it this way. “I was an actor for 10 years, and I cast TV shows for the last 7 years. I know what it’s like to feel rejected and to play the comparison game. But what if we learned how to deal with rejection in a healthy way? Wouldn’t that help us realize our self worth, fulfill our life’s purpose, and navigate to the career we truly want?”
To better manage rejection, let’s discuss 4 simple strategies that can make your job search less stressful, more fulfilling, and more productive.
strategy #1: discern.
Start with Shannon’s suggestion: “find yourself first.”
In other words, ask yourself: What type of job would I truly enjoy?
Because there’s no point in suffering the heartache of being rejected, if it’s for a job that you wouldn’t have enjoyed.
As you consider this question, what if it leads you to consider a career pivot? Then take heart: you’re not alone. The average American changes jobs 12.3 times over the course of his or her career — and of those 12.3 times, 5 to 7 are career pivots: major changes in the scope or the nature of your work.
87% of people say that it takes courage to make career pivot. Nevertheless, 90% of people felt their career pivot was successful; 72% of people felt like a “new person” after making a career pivot; 65% of people felt less stressed after making a career pivot; 59% of people felt like they could finally carry out their passions; 51% of people wished they’d pivoted their careers earlier in life; and 50% of people made more money after making a career pivot.
strategy #2: detach.
That is, realize and internalize that being rejected is not about you. So don’t take it personally.
Maybe they’re casting a TV show, and they need a redhead. Maybe they’re hiring a programmer, and they need someone who codes in Python, not C++. Maybe they’re hiring a sales manager, and they need someone who specializes in governmental contracts, not corporate ones.
Whatever the case, you are a valuable, special person, and you must detach your sense of self-worth, from whether or not you get this job.
Just consider the law of averages. 250 people apply for each job opening, but just 4-6 will be interviewed, and only 1 will get the job. That means that you have a 99.6% chance of being rejected for any given position.
These are the cold, hard numbers, but don’t let them discourage you.
First, these numbers demonstrate that you’re not alone. 248 other people also got rejected, so don’t take it personally.
Second, these numbers remind you to keep many arrows in your quiver.The most successful job-seekers apply for at least 10-15 positions each week. Back up from that number, and make a plan to apply for 2-3 positions each weekday. (If you need a template to manage and track your job-search efforts, try my weekly checklist.)
strategy #3: dump.
It’s absolutely reasonable to feel disappointed, hurt, or dismissed when you’re rejected while you’re job-searching.
These are your feelings, and they’re not wrong. So acknowledge your feelings. (After all, job-seekers who were self-aware were 11% more effective in their job-searches, than those weren’t.)
But remember: you need to feel your feelings in a healthy and productive way. That means, “dump” your negative feelings into a safe space.
Perhaps you “dump” them by journaling. (Try Shannon’s list of journal prompts.)
Perhaps you “dump” them by confiding in a trusted friend.
Perhaps you “dump” them by talking to a counselor or a coach.
However you do it, feel your feelings, but then “dump” them into a safe space, so that you can move on in a healthy and productive way.
strategy #4: decide.
That is, decide how to re-frame your thoughts about job-searching.
For instance, when you apply, suppose you think: “I hope I like them,” and not “I hope they like me.”
Or when you interview, suppose you think: “This is my chance to share with others about what I’ve accomplished,” and not, “This is my chance to get hired.”
Or when you receive their decision, suppose you think: “I’m valuable just because of who I am,” and not, “I’m worthless if I don’t get this job.”
As touchy-feely as this sounds, the science bears this out. In fact, in a study of 940 job seekers, the job-seekers who re-framed their thoughts were 35% more likely to become reemployed, than those who didn’t.
So decide: Is this thought true? Is it rational? Is it helpful? And if not, how can I re-frame it to help me achieve my desired goal or outcome?
And finally …
We can never eliminate rejection entirely — because even Anna Wintour, Harrison Ford, Hugh Jackman, Jennifer Aniston, JK Rowling, Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs, and Steven Spielberg got rejected.
What we can do is redefine how we handle rejection. How could these strategies help you better manage rejection, so that your job search is less stressful, more fulfilling, and more productive?
One last note: for 20+ years, we’ve helped clients advance their careers, both through mindset coaching, as well as through award-winning resume & LinkedIn profile writing. How can we help you?